Being single doesn't make me promiscuous

I went home for the weekend to see my precious parents and if getting asked when they can expect grandkids isn't enough, my mother had another little comment for me.

Now, I 've been single for a little over a year now and being in my mid-20s my social life is in full swing but let me emphasize when I say... I don't sleep around. And if I did I probably wouldn't admit it in a blog but this is a surprisingly honest statement. To delve into it, when it comes to sex I would rather not give the milk for free. I have too much skeptism and anger towards men to give them exactly what they want. As we all know, there's other ways to get our "kicks," ladies. (wink face)

I digress.

So sitting in the living room telling my mom about a very attractive boy I met at school that week and before I can finish my explanation of his pretty brown eyes, she hits me with "ya know, Jaim, I really don't want you sleeping around."

I mean you can't even answer that! My eyebrows just went up and and replied "but ma, I'm trying to get you those grandkids you want so badly?" That'll shut her up ;)

Love thy self

It's been said before but it can always be said again, you can't fully love another until you fully love yourself. Although the best way to do this is to be comfortable being alone/single, this doesn't necessarily mean you HAVE to be single.

Being single is the easiest way to learn about your personal needs without the influence of another. It's a challenge to sit at home on a Saturday night when all your friends are on "date night" with their significants, but alone time is all about discovering yourself. Take up a hobby, find a passion, write a journal, do whatever it is that truly comforts you on a deeper level. Once you are confident in your independence you will able to transfer that confidence into a relationship.

For all of those chronic committers out there, being single may not be something you're willing to do. Although arguable, I believe it is possible to learn to love yourself while in a relationship but you do HAVE to put valuable effort toward independence. Add some separation in your companionship so you can take time to do the things you love to do. While your significant is out with friends or at the gym, don't sit home waiting for their arrival, do something you love and fully enjoy that time to yourself. Instead of date night every Saturday, take a weekend off to visit with friends or just sit home with your favorite book or show. Designate time to love yourself and your relationship will benefit.

Love you some you ;)

Why it's better to be single in the city.

There's a certain pressure that resides in the suburbs called the "hurry up and get married" pressure. When you think of the suburbs you think of families—wife, husband, children, dogs potentially, the whole thing. It typically doesn't matter if the parents are divorced because at one point they were married which is apparently the goal.

Flash to the city. Yes families with kids, but most often the general vision is of 20-somethings striving for fast-moving careers not searching for a soul mate but the newest trendy night spot.

So for those of us that think it's either an independent career-oriented life or a married life, single in the city or settled down in the suburbs... you're conception is validated. That being said don't forget that people are getting married later than ever, and probably for the right reasons. The 20-somethings in the suburbs are taking note of the independent lifestyle and the ever-heightening divorce statistics. No matter where you live, one things certain, do you first. Get settled in your own way with a job you love and a life you love. When life is in line then, if you choose to get married, and if you wait until you're 27-30, you have a higher chance of staying married.

Don't let pressures of what you're surrounded by influence what you want. You want babies at 22, go for it, you want to wait until your 34 because you've got to try all the different flavors of martinis first... go for it. Do you, then do marriage.