Tuesday, December 6, 2011
10 ways to detect a cheater
1. Eye contact. If your mate can't look you in the eye it's a sign of shame or guilt. But also watch out if your mate never looks you in the eye normally but is suddenly trying to stare into your soul.
2. Too much detail. Think about what you would remember. If you wouldn't note the wallpaper of the left-most bathroom stall of the meeting hall, then why would someone else. Too much detail is a way to overcompensate for nonexistent memory.
3. Inconsistencies. As the listener, remember the details. Ask again on a later date to see if anything changes about your mate's story.
4. Catch them off guard. A liar will go over the usual questions in their head before approaching you so avoid questions like who, what, where, when, and why. Ask how come.
5. Defensiveness. Is your mate suddenly angry and defensive? Being defensive when lying is much easier than being communicative. Try to talk it out and see why they're so stressed. It could be the pressure of lying.
6. Repetition. Repeating details or parts of a story is a way for a liar to reassure him or herself of the "facts". If they tell you 3 times they went out with Kris, wonder why...
7. Ignore facial expressions. Liars have facial expressions under control. It's a talent.Watch for body language instead. Controlling the face and story direction is exhausting and leaves the body vulnerable to movements provoked by anxiety. Are they figety? Rolling their ankles or moving their fingers? Watch out!
8. Think about motive. Would you be mad if you heard the truth? They might have a reason for deciet.
9. Go with your gut! If you have doubt, you're probably right. You instinct is your subconscious detecting what your heart and mind don't want to believe. Well believe it.
10. Back off. Don't pry too much, just be attentive. Your mate will relax if they think you believe them and their effort to conceal inconsistencies will dwindle, leaving it easy to catch their foul play.