Thursday, November 10, 2011

How much can you really be there for an ex?

Sometimes relationships break easy and sometimes they can be messy. Best case scenario it's a clean break with no hard feelings. Does the phrase "I'll always be there for you" sound familiar? And as compassionate beings we truly mean it, but what if the ex takes you up on the offer?

The truth is... if you really want to be there for an ex, keep your distance. They are obviously coming to you over friends with their problems for some reason and that reason is they're not over the break up. They still want in on your life and by asking for the compassion and help you promised them, they get quality time with you. Unfortunately the trick to balancing out a caring friendship with an ex is not to have one at all. Same goes the other way. If you have a problem or an issue you need to talk to someone about, go to a close friend, that's what they're there for. If you go to an ex because that's who you're used to running to, then more than a solution to your problem will come out of the conversation. Maybe confusion will arise, old feelings, a sense of comfort... things that will get in the way of moving on.

When breaking up, the best thing to do to ensure a clean split is to keep yourself distant with all issues, new pleasure, new thoughts, new occurrences, even old familiar things you used to share, keep it all to yourself or share with a friend. Running to an ex or allowing them to run to you will lengthen the process of letting go and moving on and that civil clean split you are so proud of will start getting messier with time.

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