Thursday, October 27, 2011

Is monogamy realistic?

I grew up with the notion that love is forever. My parents are still together and so are all my aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends' parents. It's almost as if my parents subconsciously only let me hang out with kids whose parents were still together. Because of this I always believed in monogamy and could never fathom the concept of divorce. But in looking back at all my relationships, this has caused me nothing but stress and expectations that were too high to fill by any real-life guy.

My expectations have been made so high by the perfection that I have seen around me that I can't accept mens' mistakes. Ever had a conversation with a significant other about cheating? It's awkward and uncomfortable. And although no one wants to be cheated on, having someone on a 2-inch leash doesn't make cheating more controllable... in fact, quite the opposite. Because no man will ever have the same crazy expectations I have about monogamy - no cheating, no looking, no touching, no flirting... I eventually learned its my expectations that need to be changed.

I have come to accept that monogamy in its truest form may not exist. We are all humans and we are flirtacious and friendly and playful in our own ways. As long as we don't form a physical/emotional relationship with someone of the opposite sex are we really guilty of anything?

It's so much less stressful and makes a relationship so much more rewarding to just let go of the leash. Let the pup run wild.  If they cheat, you'll find out. Maybe not from them, but your instincts will never mislead you. Chances are with the freedom to flirt and be playful with others, men won't feel so hindered by their partner and when sex comes about, they'll come home... like a good pup does.

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